Some identity theories...

Cooleys looking glass theory (1992) suggests that we see ourselves in other peoples eyes and try to fulfil their expectations of us. For example, when we meet people for the first time, we try to act and look the best we can in order to impress them.

Cognitive dissonance is when your positive view of yourself is contradicted by other people. Theorists suggest certain ways in which an individual may cope, which Gergen and Gergen call self-maintenence strategies:

• Belittle the evidence
• Associate others who think like you do
• Turn the negative into positive
• Disbelieve
• Form a low opinion of the other person
• Self-handicap or opt-out.

An example of this is when someone forms an instant judgment of you, and makes their opinion perfectly clear. As a way to cope with this, someone may say that other things/people are worse, say there are many other people like you, make positive points against their judgment, simply ignore and not retaliate to the person, think of the other person as lower than them as they have not been polite, or give up and loose all self esteem.

The Pygmalion Effect or Self-fulfilling Prophecy suggests that we adapt our behaviour to fulfil the expectations of others. For example, non-smokers who hang around with a group that do smoke may alter their behaviour to 'fit in' with the crowd and be seen as an equal.

Brown and Levison suggest the concept of positive face needs, in that we consistenly seek the approval of others in our interactions through a number of different strategies:

• Paying attention
• Seeking agreement (true topics)
• Pretend agreement (white lies, hedging)
• Use humour
• Use appropriate dress terms compliments

For example, we try to make people like us and have a positive judgment on us by using techniques such as jokes and compliments, along with topics that both parties can relate on. We basically try and make the other person feel better about themselves in order to trust us.